Patella Klunk What??????

First of all a thank you, to those of you who have been following me. It has been such an inspiration to me to know that so many have sent love and support during this journey I have been on.

You all know that I had expected to be dancing in Las Vegas in September. I made the trip, but to visit with friends who had wanted to be dancing there with me. The friends, some old and some new, Kat and Reed, Deb, Denise and Phil were all there and so incredibly supportive.  I am so blessed to have such amazing people who are my friends, and even though no dancing went on, the cherished moments of conversation and time and the sharing of a meal were worth their weight in gold.  I have learned over the years to hold on to memories such as these, for those are the times in which you can draw strength, and courage and laughter, when the other days appear, ones that try to discourage you from living that life you so richly deserve.

November came , and I hit the 5 month mark for the second knee surgery. Instead of getting better I felt like I was getting worse.  I was needing the assistance of the cane more and more, due to imbalance and the need of support.  I had been working out at the gym on the bike as instructed by my surgeon 5 days a week, only to get home with my knees swollen and the pain so excruciating, it was so unbearable.

My appointment was coming up the first of December with the QME, which is a Qualified Medical Examiner, agreed upon by both parties, so I knew a solution would be delivered very soon.   My day at the QME comes and to my surprise he explains all that Gov. Swartzenegger has done in changing the laws to be on the side of the insurance companies. My fate is to be determined by a numbers rating systems where points are given and points are taken away and now they can go all the way back to childhood injuries to determine my fate.  Well, that’s for another post, now I want to talk about the QME’s exam.

In his office,  there were autographed pictures of famous athletes, and pleasant colors and furniture.  On the wall were his accolades of  having been the orthopedic surgeon for the Olympics for 2002 and 2004,  that in itself,  gave me a sense of confidence that this Dr. could possibly be over qualified to evaluate my circumstances, and definitely knows his orthopedics.

The first order of business is to review the injury from the beginning, so starting with 5.7.07, the day of the accident, until present day, we went through every painstaking detail of my healing. We had to discuss some of  my past medical history, in order to identify if any pre-existing conditions were contributing factors to my current status.

Then the Dr. had me climb onto the table to do a physical examination of the knees and their limitations.  The first thing out of his mouth was, “Wow those are really big scars!” I haven’t had the chance to look at others who have had total knee replacements, so I asked “How long should the scars be?” And he replied,  “About 6 inches, and yours are between 8 and 9 inches each”. Now, I had really been convincing myself the scars were necessary, which of course they are, just not that big. My legs have always been one area of my body in which I have received compliments all of my life, so my ego really had to disappear when the choice was surgery, and my legs would be scared for life. Here an expert is telling me I didn’t have to have the large scars I have, and all I could do is close my eyes and give myself a huge breath and think,”  Oh well, it is what it is, lets continue with this exam.”  The next thing the Dr. did was to lift the knees and move them back and forth, and around rotating the knee in several different positions. I explained to him my surgeon had told me to get on a bicycle at least 3 times a week to strengthen my muscles and to deal with the click I was hearing in my knee joints. He rotated my knees again and listened to the click, and asked how I felt after the workout.  Now I’m a good patient, the Dr. tells me to do something and I do it, full out, so I had been working my knees  6 times a week, riding the bike and going home swollen and in really horrid pain.

This QME Dr. tells me this is not normal, I should not be clicking , I needed to stop the bicycle. I’m sitting there thinking to myself this is direct conflict to my surgeon to whom I have entrusted my legs to for the last two and one half years. He hasn’t steered me wrong yet, why would he give me such bad advice?  Conflict of opinions, ughh! I ask this Dr. what harm could be done by continuing the bicycle, at which he replied, “Not only could you wear down your brand new parts, but if something breaks off and travels through your body it could harm you.” (And um, maybe kill me if it traveled to my heart, please no spare parts traveling for me).  He is recommending more xrays, an MRI is out of the question with chrome parts, and orthoscopic surgery to determine if the patella, knee cap parts, are positioned correctly. It would be difficult, other than going in there, to determine visually the placement of the parts.  There is also the possibility of the knees not being installed properly the first time, so if that is the case they will need to be replaced properly.

Confused, angry and feeling also a bit betrayed I go home and await my next apt, the following week with my surgeon. I now have some answers why I am still in pain, and still unbalanced, and  fighting a feeling of incompleteness. At this point I was suppose to be dancing and return to a life full of choices. I understand that karate is now out of the question, the type I study had dances and moves and kicks that use the knees extensively. No one realizes just how much you use your knees until you don’t have full use of them. My new life will not include running, yoga (bending is practically impossible and so is getting up and down off the floor) basketball, water skiing, surfing, etc.,etc,.etc. This could get very depressing if I start to get into all the things I won’t be able to do anymore, so I’m not going to go there. I have the ability to do so much and I am walking, swimming and so many other things though some may be limited.

The  appointment with the surgeon who has been my doctor throughout this entire ordeal, the one I trusted, with doing it right the first time comes and not soon enough. I have had a week to digest all that has been told to me.  I  discuss with him the diagnosis given to me by the QME, and he reassured me my knees have been installed correctly, and informs me I have developed a condition called, get this, Patella Klunk Syndrome. No I did not make this up! What happens is, scar tissue develops and grows sometimes getting lodged in between the patella and the new knee parts causing the clicking and the pain. Well I’ll be a……

He still wants me to cycle, but my instincts are telling me not to. I decided to low impact bicycle in the pool and walk with less resistance, until I see him again, or my lawyer makes me change doctors, seriously a lot of these decisions are in what I call  lawyerland now. I just want to continue healing, and if it means going back under the knife to get it right, then that’s what I’ll do.

Some days I wake up and can barely move. I’m stiff ,swollen, and in pain barely capable of walking to the bathroom. Usually after about an hour and the unfortunate pain pills, I am moving with a mission. I support my positive attitude because I choose to. I will get through this and I do consider this whole experience a blessing. God has other plans for me and each day I am challenged he reveals a little more to me.

My vision is to run a Bed & Breakfast on the Mendocino Coast, a spiritual retreat, named Coastal Gables. Everyday I envision it more and more in my dreams. This dream and my volunteer work is what keeps me going.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. –”Strength to Love”, Martin Luther King

Till next post, Blessings~Cher

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